GOD. KNOWS.

This week at Bible Study we were asked to think about what we say to ourselves most and what our self-talk consists of. I knew I spent a lot of time daily in my head thinking about things I have to do, planning, processing, and figuring out this adult life thing I've been trying to navigate. As I sat there and pondered, it was difficult for me to think of what I constantly say to myself. As I entered the week I wanted to intentionally recognize what it was I found myself saying in my head all the time. Like most of us, I knew there were a lot of negative things I repeat to myself each time a conversation doesn't go as planned, an interview and job opportunity didn't work out, and when I look in the mirror. Despite this, I sat there and thought "truly there must be something positive I say. How can the only thoughts rolling through my head be negative if I am loved deeply by the God of the Universe? God's love for me is deeper than the ocean I look at at work, that I visit often, and can't get enough of." Later that night on my drive home it hit me.

| | G O D  K N O W S | |

With out a doubt, these are the two words I utter to myself most. God knows the outcome of this interview, God knows why everything seems to be going wrong this week, God knows where I am going to live in the future, God knows how I'm going to pay my student loans, God knows what my day holds. God knows.

In one of the most trying and unpredictable seasons of my life, these simple words have brought me such peace, joy, and comfort. Knowing that the God who paints the sky with an incredible sunset each evening is the God who is sovereign over every detail in my life brings me peace that surpasses all understanding. People often ask how I work two jobs, rarely get time off, drive so much, and move often. I can't help but think God knows. He knows what he has for me now and in the future. He knows what I'm going through, dealing with on a daily basis, what I long for most in this season, and what lies ahead.

Each night as I look at the sunset and find such peace in knowing that God is the God he says he is. He is the God who knows us deeply, created us so intricately, and has an incredible plan for the days set before us. I can't help be stand in awe of the Creator who paints the sky with a different sunset each night and knows what the heck my life will look like next week, next month, and next year. Man, we serve a mighty God.

I took this picture in November the day I found out I was going to 

be starting a new job at Biola in the marketing department with the events team. 

What a blessing that has been.

The Art of Slowing Down

For as long as I could remember, I have always tried to do things as quickly and efficiently as possible. When I have a list of things to get done, I try to do as many of them as I possibly can at the same time to save time. I drive too fast, roll every stop sign between where I am and my destination, and try not to get caught speeding so I can be on time wherever I am going. When doing homework, I used to skim the assigned reading so I could be done with it and move onto to the next task. When I am eating, I have the next bite ready before I am done with the one in my mouth so I can finish faster. I live a high paced life and the more I can squeeze into a day, the better I feel.

From a young age, we are trained to move fast, finish things quickly, and don't even try driving the speed limit or you'll be the one who everyone speeds around with a piercing glare. We hate standing in line at the grocery store, fast forward through tv commercials when we can, and expect our webpage to load immediately when we click on it. Everything about our society seems accelerated, hurried, and always in a rush. The concept of patience is nonexistent.

Sometimes this rushed mentality that plagues our society seeps into our spiritual lives. I know I am guilty of looking at the time when church seems to be going over a few minutes, or I try to squeeze a few moments of intentional prayer on my walk to work, and the worst is going to bed and realizing that I didn't even give a spare moment of my day to open my Bible. But you better believe I checked my Instagram feed multiple times that day and all my emails were seen, read, or saved for later.

In the recent months, the pace of my life has slowed significantly. One of my New Year's resolutions is to stop rolling stop signs, to force myself to slow down. While the temptation to roll through the red light when I'm turning right, or going through the pointless stop sign in a parking lot is great, I am trying my best to come to a complete stop each time I am supposed to. This stopping and slowing down thing is hard though. Yes, it is a bad driving habit that is hard to stop but also in my spiritual life it is hard to force myself to slow down. To slow down, listen, pay attention, and surrender to the Holy Spirit.

Forcing myself to slow down in all areas of my life, especially in my walk with God has been more difficult that I anticipated. I thought if I stopped for a few days and prayed and meditated and journaled that I would wake up a few days later and everything would be better, or work out how I want, or be easier. But it doesn't. It takes time. It takes time for the caterpillar to be transformed into a butterfly while in it's chrysalis. This process cannot be rushed. If someone finds one of these delicate chrysalis's hanging so peacefully from a tree and wants to see what is inside, it could kill the butterfly inside if it is opened too soon. We must wait, and not rush, God's perfect process.

The same is true for us. We try to rush transformation in our lives. We think a few weeks, months, or a short season is enough to teach us what God is trying to communicate to us. Only God knows the exact timing we need in this season of transformation. Everyone's transformation takes a different amount of time. For some it could be shorter than expected, for others a little longer. We must learn the art of slowing down. The joy and peace that is found in the waiting. As we slow down, stop, wait, and listen to God, our lives are being transformed. Transformation does not happen over night.

In this season, I am learning what it means to slow down and be patient. To be where the Lord has me, be grateful for the people he has surrounded me with, and grateful for the transformation that I know is taking place, even when I cannot always see or sense it.

One way I trying to intentionally slow down in my life is taking in the beauty of the world God has created around me. I love the ocean (I'm going to pretend this is a picture of ocean, even if it's not!) and if I have a spare 15 minutes in the morning before work I stop by the beach or if I don't have somewhere to be when the sun it setting, I try to stop what I'm doing and take in how amazing our world and One who made it is. 

Transformation in the Waiting

The image of the butterfly and the transformation it experiences as it goes through it's lifecycle has been significant to me and my faith journey for several years. Just like the caterpillar must die and give up all it knows to become what it was meant to be, a butterfly, we must die to ourselves to become all Christ desires us to be. With new life that is found in him, we can soar with Christ daily. I recently started reading a book called When the Heart Waits by Sue Monk Kidd and it has completely changed the meaning of this metaphor in my life.

My focus has always been on the outcome, the beauty that is experienced in the butterfly, the final stage of the life cycle. In a season where I feel like I am constantly waiting for things to change in my life, my attention has shifted to the chrysalis stage. The time the caterpillar spends in darkness, being transformed, and waiting for all God has. There is so much wonder in the mystery of what is happening during this seemingly dead and long time period when we can't see what is actually going on. In order for the transformation to occur, the creature must be still. And W A I T. It might be tempting to think of waiting as mere passivity. But is so much more than that. In her book, Kidd says that the words passive and passion come from the same Latin root pati meaning "to endure". It means diving deep into who we are in God and living that out boldly.

This season of examining myself, the way I love, relate to others, live my life, and view God has not been easy. But it has been an incredible journey of learning about God's grace, unfailing love, and perfect character. I feel like the last seven months, since graduating, have been seven months of waiting for a real job, waiting a place to live permanently, waiting for my real life to begin. Some days have been filled with joy and blessing and some days have been filled with tears and frustration. Life looks nothing like I imagined it would right now. But as I wait for God to reveal his plan for this season of my life, I'm not just waiting and doing nothing. I am entering into the places he is calling me. Exploring what is means to love deeply, being content in whatever my circumstances are, and trusting in the divine plan of the God of the Universe.

I'm choosing not to sit around waiting, hoping, and wishing for my life to change. I am going to be S T I L L. I am going to allow the Holy Spirit to transform my heart, endure the hard conversations, and give up what I so dearly hold on to.

In our hurried society, it is easy to want to quickly go through this process and try and do it on my own. It's not a quick process. I'm exploring what it means to slow down and actually be still. Be patient. And truly wait. For it is in this waiting that the transformation begins to take place.

"BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD" PSALM 46:10

When I was looking for a picture of a chrysalis to include, there weren't many beautiful pictures to choose from. Then it occurred to me that the chrysalis stage is not the most beautiful stage of the butterfly life cycle. But i found beauty in the simplicity of God at work on the inside creating beauty despite what we can see on the outside. 

Livin the Part-Time Dream

I cannot believe the month of August is practically here. Where the heck did the last two months of summer go? As I was sorting soggy towels, seating guests, and gazing at the most amazing view all day at work, time flew by! Life at the Montage has been such a great learning experience. I love my managers, the people I work with, and seriously NOTHING beats the view. Absolutely nothing. Two months out of college and I have the best "office" I'll probably ever have! I now have a very unreasonable expectation for what any future office I have should be like;)

Yes this is really what I get to look at all day. 

(no I didn't take this picture myself!)

In the last two months I have lived in six different places. Many people, especially at work, are baffled at this nomad lifestyle that is my reality this summer. But really it's nothing new for me. The last three summers I lived out of one suitcase and a sleeping bag and moved every seven days. This summer my stuff is all packed in my car, I get a bed, and have been staying in the homes of so many gracious people for at least two weeks at time. It's quite luxurious compared to summers past! I have met and gotten to know so many incredible people in my nomadic adventures this summer. The Lord has been so faithful in providing homes with loving people to live with who are close to work. I have loved having conversations about faith and life with my beloved hosts as I've moved this summer. Praying about a more permanent living situation in the fall. God has been so faithful in providing loving and gracious people to live with this summer and I am trusting that he will provide a place and roommates for whatever is next!

When people have asked how my summer has been, I usually answer (with a hint of sarcasm), "I'm livin the part-time dream!" I never really thought life would be the way it is right now. Living by the beach, having a part-time seasonal job at a hotel, and having no idea what is next definitely has it's pros and cons. With so many changes and unknowns, God has been constant through it all. As I have thought and processed so many things this summer, God has reminded me that he is ALWAYS good. He is loving and has a sovereign plan. I would say up to this point in my life, most things have been fairly predictable. Before one job ended I had the next lined up, school always started in the fall, and I got to choose my work schedule for the most part. While things aren't as predictable and I wait every Wednesday for my work schedule to find out what time I have to show up each day, there are so many blessings in my life. I think the best part is that I get to be in the sunshine everyday, either at work or laying out on my days off. I have spent so many hours in the sun this summer and it is the greatest! I have prayed and worshipped and processed and meditated so much while laying in the sun. There is no place on earth I feel closer to the Lord. I love feeling sunshine on my skin. I'm thankful that I get to do this so often these days:)

This next week I am starting a new *temporary* job at Biola as the Parent Program Coordinator. I will be filling in while someone is on maternity leave. It will be weird to be on campus when students move in and on the first day of classes but I am so blessed that God has allowed to return to a place I love so dearly, even if just for a short time! I am going to continue to work at Montage and I am so thankful both places are willing to be flexible with hours!

So for now, I have two part-time jobs and I am livin the dream! Nothing compares to life by the beach. While I feel like everything in my life, especially work and housing, is temporary and part-time, everyday is a full-time dream with God. His blessings blow me away everyday. Every college graduate longs for stability, income that is higher than minimum wage so we can pay off that million dollar degree we just earned, and to understand big kid life stuff like taxes and 401K plans and credit scores. Right now I don't have any of these things but I do have a God who loves me and never leaves me and is guiding me towards what he has next for me. The last week has been especially difficult buying into the lies of this world but each day God has reminded me through scripture, a conversation, and monarch butterflies, that he is good. If we go through life living for someday, we will miss out on all God has for us today. So today, despite the part-time status of most things in my life, I am livin the full-time dream with God. Praise him from whom all blessings flow!

Beginning of the Beginning

As my time at Biola wraps up, there are lots of last assignments, last meetings, and last things that are happening. When the semester started there were a lot of “last firsts” as well, “last first day of school”, “last first meeting”, “last first event”. As I’ve been reflected on the past year and my four years at Biola, I am blown away at the Lord’s goodness. Seeing the way he has orchestrated each detail, each class, each friendship, and each opportunity, has been incredible. A few weeks ago when the final countdown to graduation began (though I’ve been counting down the days for months!) I felt inclined to think, “Welp this is it, the beginning of the end”. But the more I thought about it, the more I thought, “This is not the end, it is simply a transition into the beginning of a new season.”

My senior year at Biola has been nothing short of incredible. An absolute dream. From loving apartment life to having the amazing opportunity to plan events in a role I love more than I ever thought I would, to becoming a real crossfitter, running two half marathons, to laughter and tears, I would not trade this year, or my entire Biola experience, for the world. As great as this year has been, I know it is coming to an end and as I reflect, I am so thankful for all the Lord has taught me and allowed me to experience. I am thankful for each friendship, each professor, each late night, each crazy decision, each hard conversation, and each beautiful memory.

As I move somewhere new and start at a new job, find new ways to spend my time (other than writing papers or lesson plans..hallelujah!), figure out how the heck I’m going to pay my student loans off, meet new people, look for new community, and grow as an individual, I know that God is guiding each step I take. God is preparing me for what he has ahead. This week is not the beginning of the end of my time at Biola, it is the beginning of the beginning of something new and exciting.

Praise him from whom all blessings flow.

God of the Details

I. LOVE. DETAILS. I love detail-oriented things. I love noticing details. I love remembering deails. And I love that we serve a God who is a God of the details! Not a single moment goes by that he doesn't orchestrate. This is something that I have become very aware of this semester. My job this year serving as the Social Events Coordinator at school has showed me how much I absolutely love planning and coordinating events. I love that this position has allowed me to pay close attention to detail in everything I have done. In taking time to reflect on the last four years at Biola as the end draws near, my eyes have been opened to how the Lord has orchestrated every single detail during my time here. In the classes I took each semester, the people I met and interacted with, the positions I've held, and the chapels I attended, God has orchestrated it all. He knew how each detail would play role in bringing me to the place I am today and to where he is taking me next.

In my recent {quite crazy} decision to not pursue student teaching, I have felt like a "normal" college kid who is in need of a job post-graduation. The Lord has been so good and provided a job and I have been given the opportunity to move to Laguna Beach and work at the Montage Hotel for the summer. I am so excited to see what this this summer has in store! Six months ago I thought I'd be heading to camp in a few weeks and coming home to student teach in the fall. I had no idea that the Lord would allow me to move to the beach (my absolute favorite place in the whole wide world!) and work for an incredible company! 

I have been blown away at what God has done and has been doing in my life during my time here at Biola!! We serve such a BIG GOD. A God who knows every single detail of our lives. As much as we think it would be helpful, and as much as we would like to know, if we knew every single thing that would happen, we would shut down. We would give up. Being the detail-loving and planning person that I am, I of course want to know what is coming next or how something will work out. But God reveals to us exactly what we need to know, when we need to know it. I like to say the Lord is perpetually punctual. Sometimes this is hard to accept, but I would much rather have God's will for my life, not my own. He sees everything at all times, and I have a very narrow of view of what is going on most of the time. We live by faith, not by sight. 2 Corinthians 5:7. We can have faith in our GREATER God that he has got it all under control!

I am so glad that we serve a God who knows every detail of the events of our lives. I know on event day there are lots of things that are happening that other people do no know happen because they don't see the event rundown I've created. They aren't orchestrating every detail of the day. {And even though I think I am in charge of what happens on event day...God orchestrates that too. No matter how accurate I think the event rundown is!} Just like many people do not know what is happening behind the scenes at an event, I do not know every little thing God is doing in my life all the time. But I know that I can trust that God will fill me in when I need to know. He is sovereign and has created an event rundown for my life. Things are happening as they need to be and I all I can do is trust that the Greatest Event Planner of all times is taking care of all the details:)

Planning and trusting always,

Amanda

Sovereign

This last weekend I got to spend lots of time with my roommate Claire. We laughed, talked, did ridiculous things, tried to do homework, and listened to lots of music. We blasted country music (because Makenna wasn't home and she hates country music!) and shared our favorite worship songs. Claire played a song for me by Chris Tomlin that so perfectly describes what God has been constantly reminding me of the last few weeks. As I think about graduating soon (like in 102 days soon!), where I am moving for the summer, and what I am doing next year, God has given me a peace that surpasses all understanding in knowing that he is SOVEREIGN. He is before and above all things. He is all-knowing. Every time I begin to fret about finding a job, making a career choice, or even just paying for groceries, God whispers to me "Trust Me, child". TRUST. ME. CHILD. The detail-oriented, list-making, planner in me goes a little crazy but is able to take a deep breath at the same time. This song says "In your everlasting arms, all the pieces of my life, from beginning to the end, I can trust you." As I've been praying for this semester and this year and what will happen after graduation, there is nothing I can do but trust God. Claire and I were talking over dinner one night and she reminded me that we are loved by the God who moves mountains why wouldn't we trust him? Ain't that the truth. I have not be able to stop listening to this song since I heard it on Saturday and love it because it so perfectly describes where I am right now. We serve a God who is GREATER than the unknown. A God who is working now for things that are going to happen in the future. Each day I have to trust him. "God whatever comes my way, I will trust you." When Claire told me it was a Chris Tomlin, I was a little surprised I had never heard it before, but I know that I did hear at the exact time I needed to. God has been reminding me each day that is sovereign over all. May you find peace in this incredible truth today.

God is a Faithful God

I really love New Years. Maybe it's because of the traditions of having a house full of people over on New Year's Eve and making lots of noise in the driveway at midnight, maybe it's sleeping in and waking up to watch the Rose Parade, or maybe it's the tradition of having pork roast and sauerkraut on New Year's Day. While these lovely things are all a part of the reason I love New Years, I think the sense of hope and excitement so many people feel is what makes today one of my favorite holidays.

So many people reflect on the many blessings from the last year and wait with eager expectation of what the next year holds and I can't help but praise God for his goodness and faithfulness in my life. This last year was filled with so many wonderful things and I am in awe of how great our God is. As I was reflecting on what 2013 held, I was blown away at God's faithfulness. I would say the highlights of last year were running two half-marathons when I never thought I would do that in a million years, working at Mount Hermon in Santa Cruz and learning what it meant to live an upside life and trust Jesus in a way I never had before, getting to plan events for AS at school as the Social Events Coordinator and realizing how much I truly LOVE planning events, and joining Crossfit Brea and getting to be a part of a new community I never imagined I would enjoy so much. Thinking about all the amazing experiences I had in the last year, God has been so incredibly faithful in providing work, friendships, endurance, and blessings in my life. At the very beginning of 2013, I registered for my first half-marathon. I had no idea what a life changing experience that would be! Working at Mount Hermon was such an amazing experience I will never forget and I am so thankful for every moment of this last summer. My job in AS planning events has been such a dream and I am so blessed to be in my position every day. I had no idea I would love my job and the people I work with so much. I think leaving my job in May is going to be one of the hardest parts about leaving Biola. Crossfit has been such a blessing in my life and I so thankful that God led me to Crossfit Brea last semester. I have enjoyed getting to know other people, loved working with new trainers, and have loved a new approach to fitness.

As I look ahead to 2014, I am so excited to see what our amazing and faithful God has in store. I'm not entirely sure of what the next year will look like but I know that God has never proven himself not faithful and he will not start now! He will guide me where I am supposed to work after graduation, provide a place to live, and help me finish college (and survive another dreadful TPA). This is going to be a year of new adventures and trusting the Lord like never before! With the uncertainty of what life will look like in just a few, short months, I find peace in knowing that God is SOVEREIGN. As you look ahead with expectations of what this new year will hold for you, rest in the grace and faithfulness of our sovereign Lord!

The Gift of Feet

I know a lot of people who are completely grossed out by feet. I don't mind them, but other people's dirty feet can irritate me sometimes. This morning on my run, all I {mostly} thought about for seven miles was what a gift our feet are to us. If I didn't have two feet, I wouldn't get to do so many things I love! I couldn't drive, I couldn't feel the sand between my toes and the ocean, and I couldn't run! As I started to reflect on the last year, I realized I have run over 300 miles, ran two half marathons, am training for another one, and joined a crossfit gym. These are all things I love and am so incredibly blessed by the opportunity to do them. God has revealed so much to me on the journey of running, and now crossfitting, and I am so thankful for each step of the way.
Thinking about feet made me think about shoes and how blessed we are to have shoes to protect our feet when we go places. There are so many people in the world who do not have one pair of shoes and I have so many different kinds! WHAT A BLESSING!!! My favorites are definitely my rainbow flip flops, I don't go ANYWHERE without them! They are the absolute best. I also love my purple crossfit shoes. I love the bright color and love what I get to do when I wear them..except mountain climbers. Mountain climbers are my least favorite..give me burpees over mountain climbers any day! My running shoes that I got for my birthday last year and I have used for all my training and races, have run a lot of miles with me and they are something I will always be thankful for. They've taken me lots of places and experienced lots of things with me. I feel a sentimental attachment to these shoes because by the grace of God I have accomplished things I never in a million years thought I could do.
All this led me to think about how Jesus traveled many miles by foot. He was able to meet people and minister to the sick, poor, and hard to love as he traveled from town to town by foot. I am excited to see where God takes me as I journey through life!

So what I'm really trying to say is, I am extra thankful today that we have feet to run and feel the sand between our toes.

Praise Christ for the simplest blessings :)

Fall Leaves

This morning on my run, I was surprised to see so many fall leaves. While I know this favorite season of mine is in full swing, we live in California. So I wasn't really expected to see leaves falling from the trees until December. I mean it's supposed to be 80 this weekend! Despite the unpredictable weather in sunny Southern California, it actually felt like fall this morning! I couldn't resist going on a run! There were so many beautiful leaves on the ground I wanted to stop under every tree and pick up my favorites..though I refrained so I could get my miles in. However, when I was almost home, I did pause for a moment and pick up a leaf. I picked out this one leaf from all the rest that were there on the side of the road. It wasn't a perfectly colored and crunchy leaf, but I thought it was beautiful. Then it hit me. The way I see this leaf is the way God sees us. He pick us out from all the rest. He loves the way we look and the unique qualities that we have. Though we change like the seasons, he still loves us the same. He never changes. He remains constant as the seasons come and go. Sometimes leaves are green and beautiful and soaking up the sun and other times they fall down to the ground. The Creator of the seasons takes such delight in the beautiful we display whether we are luscious and green with blossoms in the spring or if we are brown and on the ground in the fall. He uses us to radiate who he is. Even the leaves lying in the street proclaim his beauty. God can use the simplest things to speak to us. Praise God from whom all blessings flow.

Dreaming of a Midwest fall,
Amanda

Summer Recap: GREATER GOD

This summer I got to be a part of a phenomenal staff of 50 people and work with hundreds of students during my nine weeks at Ponderosa Lodge at Mount Hermon. I could easily say, without hesitation, that this summer was the best summer of my life and I would not have changed a single thing about it! Not only did I get to work with amazing people and students, but I also got to live in the mountains, 15 minutes from the beach. Does it get much better than that?! I am so thankful for the incredible people I met, loved working with “big kids”, learned new things about myself and grew in my relationship with God in ways I never have before. Our summer theme for camp was UPSIDE DOWN, live like you belong to another world. After living in a colorful world that looked like a mix between an Alice in Wonderland scene and a Dr. Seuss book for two months, the transition home was more difficult than I anticipated. I went into minor culture shock as I returned to school about four hours after I got off a plane from camp. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t think about my fellow Upside Downians and miss doing life and worshipping everyday with the remarkable brothers and sisters the Lord blessed me with this summer. As a staff, we focused on the theme “Great call, GREATER GOD.” This summer, God opened my eyes to what a GREAT God he truly is. This is not a lesson that ended August 18^th when I left Ponderosa Lodge with tears in my eyes. God has continued to reveal this to me as I’ve been back at school this year. Our God is greater than stress at work, feeling exhausted from lack of sleep, loads of homework, and details of planning a huge event. Each day I am blown away at the ways our God is working in our lives.

In continuing to learn about our GREATER God, he keeps reminding me to trust him. Because he is GREATER than anything we face, how can we not trust him?! So often I let little things get to me but this summer I began to learn how to let those things go and trust in the sovereignty of our GREATER God. This is definitely something I’m still working on!

Now that I’ve been home from camp for about month, I’ve had some time to process the amazing summer I had. A year ago this time, I had NO idea I would get to spend my summer the way I did. I had just started to think about maybe working at Mount Hermon and a friend encouraged me to do so. While he tried to tell me what a life changing experience it would be, nothing could prepare me for what the Lord had in store this summer. The last two summers I worked with elementary students doing day camps in Southern California and I thought is God really sending me to Northern California to work with junior high and high school students?! Are you sure God? Lots of people asked why I didn’t want to work with younger students and I told them I really felt called to work with older students this summer..even though the thought scared the living day lights out of me! I am still in awe of the ways God revealed himself to so many students and our staff this summer. Each day I heard incredible stories and saw lives being transformed. I am praying and hoping I can return for one more summer before “real life” begins after student teaching next fall but trusting that our GREATER God already knows what he has in store!

Pushing Forward

When I got home from camp, I knew I had less than eight weeks to train for my next half marathon. When I signed up for it in May, I thought it would be fine. But after not running for three months, I felt so stupid for signing up to run 13.1 miles in October. I told myself that I had to get up and train, even if I was tired and even if it was hard. The first three weeks back were awful. Two miles felt like 20 and I thought there was no way I'm going to survive this race. What was I thinking?! With the heat I was worried about when I would train..besides 5am..and tried to get myself to spend as much time on the treadmill as I could, but that was miserable. Surviving running for 30 minutes was a huge victory in my book. Being able to run three miles without stopping felt like a little goal but one that was difficult to reach. As the days passed I prayed and prayed asking God to give me strength and endurance to run for his glory. The last three weeks seemed more difficult than actually running my last half marathon but I told myself to keep pushing forward. You can do this. You will build up to more miles. Baby steps. Small victories. This last Saturday, I ran 6 miles. And it felt SO great!!! While it's not quite half the distance of what I will be running on October 13, I felt so much better after getting over the huge mental block that was standing in the way of me being able to increase my milage. I have learned what I mental game running is!
The last few days I've been thinking about running and how it has changed my life and how God has used it to teach me so much. Sometimes our faith and relationship with God is like the first few weeks of training for a race and you feel like there is no way I'm going to get through this or survive what I'm facing. But when we rely on God for our strength and trust him with all our hearts (even to help us survive those little runs), he will not fail us. He is constant and unchanging when we are a mess. Praise Christ!
Over the summer at camp, our staff theme was "Great call, GREATER GOD." This is something the Lord is continuing to teach me, even after the summer. Our. God. Is. GREATER. Than everything!!! God has placed a great call on my life to run for his glory. While this is a great call, I know I have a GREATER GOD who is by my side every step, every mile, every run, giving me the strength to finish. I have a God who is greater than losing sleep, squeezing everything into my schedule, and a God who is greater than the hills (physically and metaphorically!) that I face. As I continue to train for my race, I am relying on the strength of my GREATER GOD.

RO Week

This last week I got to serve as a support staff member up at camp. As counselors, we take turns supporting each other and when other people are counseling, we help with games, activities, sitting with cabins, and giving the counselors a break when they need it. When we are on rotation, we get to stay in a house with other girls on support staff and it is so much fun! We get up pretty early and don't get to bed until late at night so we are super tired but I love being on rotation! It is awesome to serve at camp from a different side! 

Even though we are not counseling, each morning we take time to be alone and spend time in God's Word. This is something campers, support staff members, and our leadership does. I love it! Last week I was reading and stumbled across this verse "Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain" 1 Corinthians 15:58. For a week when I was working on rotation, I thought it was perfect. There was a lot of people getting sick, students getting hurt, and crazy things happening at camp. This verse reminded me to not let the enemy's attempt to hinder us keep us from doing God's work. 

Each week we have four teams that each have a cheer captain from the support staff. I was secretly hoping I wouldn't be chosen as a cheer captain. Not even five minutes after I had that thought, someone on leadership staff walked up to me and told me I was going to be a cheer captain. I was scared I wouldn't be very good at getting people excited for games and knew it meant I would get pied in the face on Tuesday. Once I got over my initial fear of dressing up and having to be crazy, I really enjoyed being a cheer captain and am so thankful that they chose me to be the cheer captain for the blue team last week! Being pied in the face wasn't that bad because the kids loved it and I got a nice shower afterwards:) It was challenging with no voice and when I felt sick, but it was an awesome experience!

Once campers head to bed, the support staff usually goes out and does something together. One night around 11:30, we went to the beach and sat on a cliff and watched the waves crash on the shore. It was beautiful. I love love loooooove the beach and enjoyed sitting on a cliff overlooking the ocean late at night where all you can hear is the water and see the white waves. It was so cool to sit there and pray and worship God as I reflected on my time here so far. I am in awe of how great our God is. The beauty of the beach blows me away every time I go there.

For Fourth of July, we took the students to the top of the hill that overlooked the valley and watched fireworks! I. LOVE. FIREWORKS. It was a fun night with the staff and campers! As we were getting ready to go to bed, I got a phone call that I needed to go to the hospital with a camper in an ambulance that had a severe asthma attack. As the 12 year old was lifted into the ambulance, I was so scared knowing that I needed to be strong for her when she had never been in an ambulance before and her parents were two hours away. I was able to pray for her and the doctors and the nurses as I sat there and had nothing with me but my phone. This late night in the hospital spending time with the sweetest 12 year old I have ever met ended up being the highlight of my week. It was a joy getting to spend time with her and asking her questions learning about her family and asking about her camp experience.

Last week was so much fun and I've learned that junior highers are the most hilarious people!

Loving serving,
Amanda

Never More Than We Can Handle

Because I want to be an elementary school teacher, I was a little scared when God called me to work with junior high and high school students this summer. Don't get me wrong, I was beyond excited to be working up at Ponderosa at Mount Hermon, but I didn't know how God was going to use me this summer of if I'd even be able to connect with students. Last week was our first week with campers and I had eight girls in my cabin. They were all sophomores in high school. GOD. DID. AMAZING. THINGS. Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday were all pretty cool and there was a heavy mist most of the day. Pool games on Monday and field games in the water on Tuesday were pretty cold but we still had a ton of fun! Wednesday we went to the beach and it was an absolutely BEAUTIFUL day. We took all the campers to the beach for the afternoon and we couldn't have had better weather! Thursday and Friday the weather was really warm. On our last night together as a cabin, at midnight we went up onto the field and went stargazing. It was a beautiful night and we enjoyed just laying on the grass looking up at the stars:) One thing I love about being in the mountains is that we can see the stars and vastness of the sky. It reminds me of how powerful and amazing our Creator is.
This last week God taught me a lot. He reminded me of how he NEVER gives us more than we can handle. Each day I had to rely on the Lord's strength for every little thing. I knew that as I led small groups and did activities with my cabin, I need the strength and energy that only comes from God. Each morning I could not get up after only a few hours of sleep on a roll-away bed without knowing that God would provide all I needed. Throughout the week I heard and witnessed so many amazing conversations and students who moved one step closer to Jesus. I was amazed at the power of Christ in the lives of all the students here. Even though some days and moments were hard, God was at work. He was moving in all of our hearts. Not only is God working in the lives of students this summer, but he is working in the lives of our staff. It has been so cool to be encouraged and loved by and to encourage and love others on a phenomenal staff. This summer, I have seen the power of the body of Christ. I am so thankful for the people God has placed in my life this summer.

Learning to trust the Lord more everyday,
Amanda

One Step Closer to Jesus

Last Thursday, dad and I left at midnight to drive up to Santa Cruz for me to work at Mount Hermon Christian Camps this summer as a junior high and high school counselor at Ponderosa Lodge. Dad and I drove all night, stopped and slept in a random hotel for a few hours, and then continued driving. When we pulled into Mount Hermon, it was so beautiful and I couldn't believe that I actually get to spend my entire summer here!! For the last 8 days of training, we have been doing ropes course, skate park, paint ball, and lazer tag training as well as going through our daily bible studies for the summer and learning about how to work with students and what our ministry will look like this summer. It has been so much fun getting to know a phenomenal staff of 50 people! We've laughed a lot, done some crazy things, and prayed together a ton! Almost everyday since I have gotten here, I have been moved to tears at how amazing this place is. Yes, it is beautiful, but on one of the first nights we were here, we got together with the rest of the summer staff from the other camps at Mount Hermon and took communion together and had a time of worship. A few days ago we had the opportunity to meet the board of directors for Mount Hermon and pray with them. Such a moving experience! Each Sunday, the entire summer staff meets at one camp site and worships together and then prays with members from other staffs. It is so cool to see so many eager people excited to serve the Lord and meet the campers that are coming just a few hours later. Not only have we been be learning about how to help students move one step closer to Jesus, we have been able to and been challenged to move one step closer to Jesus. I really appreciate how important our personal relationship with God is so valued here at Mount Hermon and is a crucial part of our ministry. Each morning we have 30 minutes of alone time to spend in the Word after we start our training off with worship. Side note: the band for the summer is AWESOME!!!! Each night, we listen to one of our leaders give a talk about this summer and what it will look like and are challenged to talk to God and given time to sit alone and listen to Him and then end the night in worship.
Students arrive on Sunday afternoon! We have 195 high school campers coming to Ponderosa Lodge for our first week of camp!! Our summer theme this year is UPSIDE DOWN, Live Like You Belong To a Different World. We have decorated the entire camp with bright colors and fun decorations to make the Upside Down world come to life. It is kind of an Alice in Wonderland look. Last night, we all dressed up in crazy clothes and went to downtown Santa Cruz and had a scavenger hunt looking for our leadership staff who were dressed as people on the street. As we were running around, people would stare, laugh, and ask what the heck we were doing. We would tell them wer are camp counselors and they would just nod their head and laugh. This definitely helped show me what it's like to live the Upside Down life and that as followers of Christ, we do not belong to this world and we live our lives like we belong to another world, the Kingdom of Heaven. As we teach students how to live the Upside Down life, our goal is to help students move one step closer to Jesus. This one step looks different for everyone. This week you can be praying for our students to receive what the Lord has in store for them, for the staff to have energy as they serve the campers, and for all of us to learn more and more what it means to live the Upside Down life!

Learning what it means to live the Upside Down life,
Amanda

Relying on His Strength Alone

Eleven days ago, I ran my first half marathon. It was the most exciting I've ever done!! My goal was to finish in under three hours and run the entire way without stopping. I crossed the finish line at 2:21 and ran the entire way! Over the course of the last four months, I trained, I got hurt, I was frustrated, I failed, and I relied on the strength of the Lord more than I ever had before. A year and half ago I ran a 5K and it was fun but really hard. When I started getting into running I told myself that I want to run a half marathon before I graduated from Biola. It seemed like a pretty lofty goal and I secretly thought I'd never reach it. In January, I decided that I was going to register for OC Half Marathon. After I registered, I sat on the couch and thought "This is the stupidest thing I have ever done. What was I thinking? You've never run more than three and half miles at a time before and your measly little one mile run was brutal this morning." Needless to say, I never thought I could do it. I did not run much last semester so starting up running again this year was difficult. On January 2 I couldn't even run a mile without dying. I found a 16 week training plan and it helped me gradually increase my milage.
Throughout the course of my training, God so graciously surrounded me with amazing people to encourage and help me. For this first race, I did not do it with anyone or train with a friend. At first I thought this would be hard because I did not have anyone to drag me to the track early in the morning or motivate me on long runs but I found this time to be a perfect time to talk to God. I also learned that I prefer to run without music so I can focus on my breathing and praying. Before I started my training, I talked a lot with my friend Jeremy who runs like a crazy man, my high school calculus teacher who ran her first half in February, my best friend who used to run cross country, and her sister who is also a seasoned runner. These people were so encouraging and I am so thankful for their help and insight. When I started my observations, an aide who works with a special needs student in the class told me that she was running the LA Marathon and it was great to get advice from her too! Training was hard and the first week when I had to run 6 miles I thought I was literally going to die. Before each run, especially the long runs, I prayed and asked God to help because I knew there was no way I was going to be able to do it on my own. Each week as my milage increased, I was amazed that I had made it as far as I did. After each mile I would track how far I ran, how fast I was going, and if I liked the run or didn't or any other things I wanted to remember about the experience. Surprisingly, my shorter runs (2, 3, or 4 miles) were more difficult than my longer runs because I thought I could complete short runs relying on my own strength and each time God reminded me that I couldn't.
After about a month and half of training, I got hurt and had to take a break. I was so worried I wouldn't be able to run the race. After lots of foam rolling, prayer, ice, and rest, I was able to slowly begin running again. On April 3, I ran 12 miles, my longest run during my training. Then after that, from extreme pain in my knees and legs, and being busy with Chrysalis, RA, and a TPA, I had to take another two weeks off from running. With less than a month to go, I was starting to worry if I would be able to finish this thing. 13.1 miles sounded so daunting! And my 12 mile run was killer, how was I going to add another 1.1 miles onto that? I started doing runs on the treadmill and pushing myself but I still thought it would be difficult to finish in under 3 hours if my 12 mile run took me 2:45. But with God by my side, I was able to finish almost 40 minutes fast than I thought I could!
Because I did most of my training without music, I didn't want to bring music with me on race day. I am so glad that Ari had me make a playlist just in case because I turned it on about mile 3 and listened to it the rest of the race! Right after I had reached mile 3, I was so overwhelmed by God's grace and faithfulness and goodness and sovereignty and blessings that I started crying and was in awe of where he has brought me this semester. I couldn't believe that I was actually there running a HALF MARATHON!
The journey of training and running was long and hard but so great at the same time! The Lord taught me that I must rely on his strength always and in all circumstances. I found that my days were so much better when I started it with a run. I loved the feeling of wind in my face and breathing deep and hard as I ran. I am so thankful for the opportunity to have run this race and glad that God has blessed me with a body that can run and bring glory to him!
On October 13, I will be running the Long Beach Half Marathon and I'm excited that I'm running with friends this time!

SOOOO thankful for my family who had a busy weekend and had to get up super early to come and support me. It meant so much to me:)

Even though she is busy with school and doesn't like getting up early, I so glad that Emily got to come and be there when I finished! Hopefully we can run one together someday:)

My best friend and my inspiration to start running, Ari, motivated me to push myself and made me meals after my long runs at the beach and encouraged me every step of the way! Excited to run October with her!!

Maker of the Universe

With it being the middle of the semester, Missions Conference last week at school, Chrysalis training, floor events, and observations at the elementary school, there is so much going on. It is so easy at this time of the semester to fall out of our disciplined routine of doing homework, going to bed early, running, and staying up to date on friends’ lives. Usually my time with and awareness of God fall by the wayside and I start to feel like I’m drowning..mostly because I’m trying to do it all on my own, not relying on the Lord.

Yesterday in my Methods of Teaching Science class, our professor had us watch a video on YouTube of Louis Giglio. I had never heard of him or seen anything of his online before but I was amazed when I watched this video in class. It is kind of long but I highly recommend watching it! It gave me chills. The wales, the waves, the wind, all declaring his beauty! WOW. How can that not make you stop and marvel at the greatness of our God?!  This got me thinking about how great our God really is. Like really. It is so hard to fathom that the God who made the universe…like THE UNIVERSE, and everything in it, loves me. Not only does he love me, but he is working all things together in my life. He is bringing glory to himself through the work he is doing in my life and he is working his plans out for my life each day. I have been reading through the Gospels for the last few months and it has really brought to a place of being reminded of who God is. Who he is and what he has done. It has been so great to be reminded of these things. Each day as I read stories of the work of Jesus, I am in awe of his power. His greatness. His compassion.

Last week during Missions Conference I was also thinking, God is SO creative!!! Everywhere we look there is so much beauty. With yesterday being the first day of spring, flowers are blooming and the weather is lovely! Oh how I love feeling the warmth of sun on my skin and seeing flowers and sun dresses everywhere! But when God created everything, think about how much fun he had!!! Creating so many different kinds of flowers and weather, and people! Just think of all the different kinds of people he created! WOW. And he loves them all. Every nation, every tongue, every tribe. This alone is amazing to me. When I sit in my elementary classroom and look at the students, I think about how different each one of them looks, and that’s just the outside! On the inside they each have a different heart, different abilities, and different stories. Our God is so great!

When I was thinking about how great God is and reflecting on the video we watched in class, I couldn’t help but think of this Psalm:

O Lord, our Lord,
    how majestic is your name in all the earth!
You have set your glory above the heavens.

Out of the mouth of babies and infants,
you have established strength because of your foes,
    to still the enemy and the avenger.

When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers,
    the moon and the stars, which you have set in place,
what is man that you are mindful of him,
    and the son of man that you care for him?

Yet you have made him a little lower than the heavenly beings^[b]
    and crowned him with glory and honor.
You have given him dominion over the works of your hands;
    you have put all things under his feet,

all sheep and oxen,
    and also the beasts of the field,
the birds of the heavens, and the fish of the sea,
    whatever passes along the paths of the seas.

O Lord, our Lord,
    how majestic is your name in all the earth!

                        Psalm 8:1-9

Amazed by my Creator,

Amanda